Over the last couple of weeks I have had some of the strangest dreams.
The other night I had a dream that my little sister and I were in the car on the highway. We went up a straight 90 degree angle and of course, the car fell right back down and slammed on it's back and then the roof. We were forced to get out and walk, and as we walked up the highway there were literally thousands of bodies of teenage kids all over the road. Some of them were moving and talking but most of them were dead. There had been some kind of terrible accident, and it was incredibly gory. All the while, we're trying to make our way home in a bus and it's snowing like crazy.
I know, it was strange. I really have no idea where it came from.
But the dreams that have been the most disturbing of all, have been the ones where I have been doing things to sabatoge myself. Most commonly; out at the clubs drinking and taking drugs while I'm pregnant (but either forgetting or dismissing the fact that I am) or cheating on Brian with unknown people. In both of these types of dreams, I don't really comprehend my situation. I clearly remember in the most recent dream where I cheated on Brian, I had a discussion with a family member before it happened and they told me that I was single. But then (just like the dreams in the clubs) right at the end of the dream I remember about Brian (or the baby) and completely freak out.
I guess the way I'm interpreting these things is that they're both two HUGE life changes for me and I'm afraid that I'm going to screw them up. In the back of my head, I do worry that I'm going to do something wrong while I'm pregnant and lose the baby, or cause the baby to have some sort of deformity. And I guess part of me worries if I'm going to be a good mom, although in my conscious mind, it's never really been a concern. I know that I am capable of being a great mother. I am not sure why I continue to have dreams occasionally about cheating on Brian. I guess in my heart I feel like we should get married now, before the baby is born, and I'm sure it scares me a little bit to take that next step in our relationship.
But I know that I will be a good mother, and I know that I will be a good wife.
So...I'd just like to beat the shit out of my subconsious mind and tell it to let me dream about eating ice cream and puppies.
About Me
- Dee
- Aurora, CO, United States
- Had my first child April 7th, 2008. I am a self employed freelance photographer, single mommy since 01/12, nanny, babysitter, substitute teacher, explorer, gamer and lover of life.
Ultrasound #2
Davin @ 20wks
1 comment:
Eating ice cream and eating puppies?! That's how I read it, at first.
If it makes you feel better, I've had similar dreams (as of late, actually) of "being with" someone other than Patrick. For me, this shouldn't be normal. For you, it's a good way for your subconcious to remind you what's important (like you needed the reminder? I know you don't); I'm glad you realized what the dreams are about (when dealing with the baby or Brian).
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