Hospitalized

I'm so exhausted from this emotional rollercoaster...

Yesterday we went to L&D to get the other steroid shot my doctor had perscribed. They wanted to take my vitals which I thought would be no big deal...boy was I wrong. My bp had spiked again. Davin looked fine on the monitor but they kept me there to continue watching my bp and take other precautionary measures. More labs, more urine samples, more tests....Everything looked okay (my organ function and only small traces of protien) so they discharged me...after 4 1/2 hours.

Needless to say I had to forefit my tickets to see Daniel Tosh, I was fucking pissed. Well...pissed, sad, confused, scared, angry, lonely- that all about sums it up.

I don't really know what all of this means. Maybe I am worse off than I thought.

It's frustrating to feel so overwhelmed with so little guidance. The discharge papers the hospital sent me home with were MORE detailed about "bed rest" than my doctor has EVER been. The nurses on call answered more of my questions HONESTLY than anyone else at this point.

It's just a waiting game now. At this rate, I don't think my doctor is going to let me go past April 1st. Whether or not she can induce me at that time, is yet to be seen.

Pregnancy has been THE hardest thing I've ever done. I've seen myself mature in ways I never thought possible and I've felt love for this little man I never dreamed, but in the midst of it all I've felt like I'm on the edge of a nervous breakdown.

I know, "all the work is worth it" I just wish this had all been a little easier on me. God knows my poor liver (among other parts of my body) wasn't ready to grow a kid...I'm sure I'm reaping the benifits now.

Just a little while longer now...I can't wait for this to be over.